GUEST APPEARANCE: You Really Can’t Fix Stupid | Opinion

We are what, a few hundred mass shootings a year? Maybe more. I haven’t seen the news this morning as I write my column, so we could have added a few overnight. I know we win the mass shooting contest with our allies by oh, a few hundred.

It’s good to be number one, right?

Especially when you can’t be number one but you’re not allowed to fix a problem because, well, you can’t fix idiots.

Ted Cruz, the leader of the pack when it comes to sucking off the NRA, suggested that all schools have a door that opens. Seriously, that was his suggestion. Put a thousand kids in a building, have a door that opens, and armed guards in a bunch of other places around the building.

It’s the equivalent of covering every wall in your house with moss in case you decide to bang your head against the wall, because it’s your right to bang your head against the wall.

How about no lathering, being silly, and knocking your head off?

Yeah, I know, you can’t fix idiots.

Let’s try this, how about no assault weapons, minors can’t own instruments of war, and if you want to buy something to feel manly about, do you pass a sanity check first?

Oh wait, you wouldn’t pass the mental part because you feel the need to have your own arsenal is a sign of a mental health issue in the first place.

Let’s go. If you feel you need to play Rambo, why not just join the army and play with the real soldiers?

Oh, that’s right, you wouldn’t pass the physical exam.

Well the first thing you do is show the absolutely confusing 2nd amendment section to prove that those people 250 years ago who had single shot magazines really meant for a middle aged guy out of forms with low self-esteem issues to purchase a weapon capable of slaughtering large numbers of people at a concert in Las Vegas.

Or that they wanted 18-year-olds to have access to equipment capable of taking down an entire fourth-grade class.

Of course, then you have the governor of Texas thinking, hey, in order to curb the violence, how about letting everyone who wants to impress the world with the fact that they have a military-grade weapon walking around with the slung things?

Yeah, you really can’t fix stupid.

Then there are all the senators and congressmen who belong to the NRA, standing at their microphones, desperately trying to find anything to blame besides the tool itself (and people who don’t). have no problem selling them), short-circuiting the childhoods of American children so they can spend a few more years in power.

You really can’t fix stupid people. And you can’t fix pathetic either.

Pete Mitchell’s regular “In America” ​​column appears every other Monday. This is a special “guest appearance”. He lives in Geneva. Contact him at [email protected]